The Ireland I Want Does Not Exist Yet

An article I wrote for Z Network/Collaboration for Change. It’s part of a series Answering Ireland’s Call: Thoughts for a new republic (Freagairt ar Ghlaoch na hÉireann: Smaointe ar phoblacht nua). The series explores the reunifcation of Ireland from a green-left persepctive. Do read the other articles too. We need this. A neoliberal Ireland is not enough.

The Ireland I Want Does Not Exist Yet

The Ireland I want to live in does not exist yet. It has never existed. But civilisations, empires, nations and systems rise and fall. And all kinds of things are possible.

To be content with our current lives requires a lot of pretending. Pretending that social democracy is doing ok. Pretending that equality and solidarity are a forward march; that fascism is marginal and contained; that ecological collapse will mainly be a problem for future generations. Pretending that Irish unity can be based on infinite growth.

I have wanted to see the reunification of Ireland for my whole life. I would vote for it tomorrow, without definition. Because I believe that a partitioned Northern Ireland, bending itself out of shape around a remote, careless Westminster is a disastrous way to organise our lives. I suspect that the structural sectarianism of the northern state cannot be unpicked. Building a meaningful citizens’ democracy in the North, under current arrangements, seems impossible.

But it is not enough to ‘want out’ of the UK. That is not a statement of hope or vision. And it also requires pretending that Ireland is not swept up in the same soaring inequality – and its bedfellow, bleak antsy disenfranchisement – as the UK.

I am not an expert in how to move beyond orthodox models of economic growth in late capitalism. And I don’t pretend to know how to get from a to b. But I can tell you how I imagine life in my County Down town in a (near) future Ireland.

I live in a coastal peninsula town. So I imagine that the sea will have swallowed the coast road, the local playing pitches, the new nursing home and the big Tesco. Flood defences have been reinforced many times, but it’s a flat town and I often wonder whose home the water will reach first.

There’s a field at the back of my house. War in Ukraine and changing climate conditions have led to low grain stocks and price volatility. So the field has potatoes. It is sprayed weekly to control weeds, pests and disease. My eyes sting red after each hazy blanket. After the harvest, I am not tempted to hop the fence and glean the left behind spuds. I worry about my family’s health. And how many more crops can be forced out of that soil.

Some preppers in Belfast were arrested recently with a house full of weapons and a bathtub of tinned fish. That’s one way to approach it. On the other hand, my friend in the next townland has a field and has begun a community supported agriculture project. It’s very hard work for him. And I do not personally enjoy that amount of cabbage. But I imagine we may need to work as a community to eat well in the future.

Our drinking water does not come from the blue green algal Lough Neagh. But I imagine the North’s natural resource extraction, biodiversity collapse and broken water system may mean we’re not far behind in eyeing our kitchen tap with trepidation. Rivers and streams did not sign up to partition, so we will need to find a common solution.

I imagine we might need to work together as neighbours to generate electricity for the town. The town is full of practical people, farmers with rough hands who make do and mend. I enjoy their company and I look forward to this. Not sending the town’s money to remote fossil fuel oligarchs is a welcome prospect.

I imagine that my adventurous children might not leave this island. It seems unlikely they will cross any border for university – land or sea – because we cannot help them pay for it. They already have some grasp of the future world and do not want the debt. Sometimes I imagine them in tiny homes in the garden, and think this is a silly apron string. But it is also an option.

A friend in the town has a partner with brown skin in a far away country. His children are here with him, but their mother cannot come because he does not earn enough money. I fear the future will involve a lot of keeping people out. Because ‘Ireland is Full’. The UK does not like new people arriving either. So on this I have no constitutional preference. My preference is for families to be together, and for people to come to safe, liveable countries if theirs is not.

I haven’t had time to reimagine other things about my town. Its public realm is very British. Some people enjoy hanging Union Jack flags high up on lampposts. Orange Order and loyalist band parades walk through the town regularly. Occasionally I go to watch, and other times I feel anxious. But in the grand scheme of things, I do not lose sleep over it. If my neighbours and I are working together on common projects, I imagine my anxiety will diminish. Plus, they have all the good ladders.

A good question is whether the future I imagine could happen if the North was part of the UK, equally as well as in a reunified Ireland. I think a surface level answer to this question is ‘why not?’. But it’s Westminster’s continued neglect of the North that worries me. The bones of the British state are crumbling. Despite so much inspiring radical history, elitism and conservatism feel like overriding British values. I find it hard to imagine that the UK is a structural context where the North could thrive. I imagine people in Sheffield, Dundee and Aberystwyth have similar concerns. And that we may each need to forge different, but connected, paths to extricate ourselves from the metropole.

Northern Ireland needs structurally functioning governance to stay afloat. I don’t think that the Republic of Ireland currently offers us this, because there is no plan, and the Republic has its own problems. But I find it easier to imagine that it could provide a place to practice good democracy than the UK. It is small. The North people would have a voice. As citizens not subjects. North and South are already geographically and ecologically united. We are historically bound by deep, traumatic bonds as well as joyful solidarities that I suspect only people of the island may fully understand.

I can’t imagine how Stormont could be part of our solution. Stormont often makes things worse. It green lights extraction and dysfunction, and these hold us back from a good future. Maybe it could be fixed, but I doubt it.

My imagination is small and limited. I have thought about my family, what we will eat and drink, and how to turn the lights on, in a small northern Irish peninsula town. A future Ireland will be a collaboration of thousands of different imaginations. Builders and farmers as well as writers and dreamers.

My imaginings have not been fully costed. I expect there are great savings in there as well as great expenses. Fundamentally, I imagine a future Ireland where value is measured differently – in health and happiness and having enough. That Ireland does not yet exist. But I think I am not prepared to sit quietly back and ‘wait to see the offer’. Because the offer will be Irish neoliberalism. So I would prefer to find others who imagine a similar shared future, to join forces somehow in a movement of movements, and begin to coherently articulate our asks. We only want the earth.

The Ghost Limb and its Afterlife

The last time I wrote something here, is pretty much when The Ghost Limb was published - November 2022. The year and a half since then has been a whirlwind.

I have barely written any articles or essays in this time, with the exception of some pieces for the Irish News.

But I have been busier than ever - talking, meeting people, listening, thinking. And, with bouts of illness and managing my ME, I’ve spent a lot of time sleeping too…

The Ghost Limb went to reprint quite quickly, and I will be eternally grateful for the support of my publishers Beyond the Pale, all the independent and radical bookshops who stocked the book, the local media, and most of all readers for making this happen. So many people have been in touch - from all kinds of places and politics - and every one of you has made a deep impression on me. I’ve inhaled the stories people have told me on the road from Crumlin to Larne, Derry to Bellaghy to Bangor. Your voices travel with me and I find myself tuning into your wisdom often. Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to talk.

I’ll pop some things here that might be intresting to tune into, if you would like to hear more about the book and its afterlife - The Red Lines Podcast, The Shrapnel Podcast, Slugger TV, the North podcast, Soul Surmise and The Echo Chamber for a more general state of the nation. There was a lovely book review by Nicholas Allen in the Irish Times, one by Gladys Ganiel on Slugger O’Toole, book reflections by Gemma Reid at Quarto, Jim Larmour in the Irish Marxist Review, Rev. Steve Stockman on his blog, and Emma McArdle in Éire Nua. Support from BBC Radio Ulster, BBC Radio Foyle, BBC NI, the Irish News, the Derry Journal and other outlets has been invaluable. Reclaim the Enlightenment have continued to champion the work. Thank you all for your kindness.

A lot of the goodness of the book has happened live. Pinging between events in east Belfast and west Belfast and realising that I am so completely at home in both places. The penny dropping at Féile 2023 that ‘my community’ was the glorious mixture of people in the room, not anything inherited or ascribed. The same kind of feeling hitting me in Derry, surrounded by such a rich mix of people. People I have lovingly come to call, in my head, and often to their faces, the ‘hallions’. Grasping around for a non-binary word to describe our connection and anti-sectarian unity of purpose. I’ve had the indescribable joy of adding many more hallions to my life since the book came out.

The chalking continued at many of these events. I did not chalk myself, but sometimes I brought chalk along for others. 1798 chalkmarks were spotted inside Cultúrlann Uí Chanáin in Derry, the pavement outside the Crescent Arts Centre in Belfast and ‘1798 - google it’ on multiple sections of the Lagan towpath. One mammy found 1798 scrawled on her living room wall.

Exploring Irish reunifcation has been a fascinating part of the book’s afterlife. This has taken me to Ireland’s Future in the Ulster Hall (with the SSE to come in June 2024), Sinn Féin’s 2023 Ard Fheis, a debate with Ireland’s Border Poll, and to the Oireachtas’ Good Friday Agreement Implementation Committee last month.

While I would personally vote for reunifcation tomorrow, I am not in campaign mode at these events. I’m in uncertainty mode, questioning and nuance mode, ‘why is nobody factoring in climate collapse?’ mode. I’m interested conversations that are real and messy, not scripted or preordained. I’m interested in Citizens’ Assemblies and meaningful grassroots democracy as a mechanism for political change. I’m interested in how to take those high falutin words and make them real in the world.

A large part of the book’s afterlife has been conversations with fellow leftists in kitchens, cafes, pubs and online, puzzling over what sort of Ireland we might want to live in. Stephen Baker and Kellie Turtle and I explored this a little on NVTV, and we have not stopped talking since. I’ve started to write about it. Tenatively. Some very small bits coming soon…

Most of the people in the book are still a huge part of my life. Whether that’s us doing panel discussions, drinking tea, singing in the pub, dragging the kids to events/protests/historical sites, and thinking of ways to make the places we live in more enriching. We’ve tried to do this through exploring local heritage, adventures in language, multicultural projects, supporting anti-racist and anti-war campaigns. This feels like an important time globally to work your patch locally.

The biggest thing I’ve worked on this year - again with huge help from friends - is making a four part radio series about The Ghost Limb for RTÉ. The series will be aired summer/autumn 2024. Independent producer Dónall Ó Maolfabhail from Scun Scan Productions has patiently worked with our thran alternative Protestant tribe, taking our many rebellions on the chin, pulling the story out, encouraging us to live in the political afterlife of the book.

It’s been a wild ride taking this journey with ME as a constant companion. Recording for radio, I often have take breaks to lie down. Friends and family drive me to events while I hit the crunchie bars hard and try to clear the fog in my brain. Event organisers have made accommodations to help me do the work. I’ve had to turn down many lovely things, just to keep functioning, but I’ve so appreciated the invitations. Any big events or media are preceded and followed by a week in bed. These are the bits that only my family and closest friends see. To them, the biggest thanks of all.

Truthfully, I’m not sure what the future holds work-wise. I have a few different few book and project ideas, but I need to sit longer with them. My thoughts often swirl around constitutional change in Ireland and Britain, climate collpase, citizens’ democracy, hidden local histories, and I still want to get to know loyalists better. I have plenty to be at while I carve out space for the new. I work slow. It takes me a long time to think and process. More listening, more talking, more pints, more sleeping. I am hoping for a fallow period. And then, undoubtedly, a little more mischief…

With thanks to the multiple takers of these photos, who I am too muddled to remember. The sticker of the Muddler’s Club is from Brian at Visual Thinkery.

And with sincere apologies for only mentioning the selection of things I can remember today. I’ll add things as I recall them.

The Shamrock and the Thistle

I was so moved to see this little story from me turned into an animation. It’s one in a series of animations about Protestant Irish language learners from the Turas project in east Belfast. 

I've always felt a pull towards the Irish language. But growing up as a Protestant in Northern Ireland, I didn't really have any way to connect with it. There were no Irish classes where I lived. It wasn't taught in my school. I didn't know anyone who spoke it.

The animation shows me as a teenager, listening to Irish language radio in my bedroom, having no idea what the words meant, but making mix tapes of the songs.

One song stuck with me in particular - Dónal agus Mórag. Every so often over the years, I would hear it on Raidió Fáilte, and try to google it. But I didn't have a clue where to start. It was only later in life, taking Irish classes at Turas in east Belfast, that I was able to make the connection.

Dónal agus Mórag is a traditional song about a wedding on Rathlin island. The more I found out about the song, the more it came to mean to me. Rathlin is a meeting point between Ireland and Scotland. The wedding was a big mix of both traditions. It made me want to find out more about both parts of my heritage - Irish and Scottish - the shamrock and the thistle, and how they have grown around one another.

The animation follows on from the stories of Gail, Ivor and Chris - three other Irish learners from Protestant backgrounds. Each of them approached the Irish language with a mixture of trepidation and curiosity, but soon found a generous welcome and connection with place.

The series is called Ulster Gaeilge: It's Yours Too! and is available on the QFT Player. Created by Enter Yes, directed by Don Duncan from QUB and Linda Ervine from Turas.

Chalk on the Wall

The Essay series on BBC Radio 3 this week is about Another Northern Ireland. Female, queer, outsider and gently radical voices, burrowing in to the cultural underground of this place. I found listening to these stories moving. A little healing. It’s a privilege to be in their company.

While red faced politicians continue to shout from the hamster wheel, the rest of us are re-wilding ourselves. The north is alive with steely, beautiful resistance to our broken politics.

My own small resistance, over the last year or two, has come in the form of chalk. I started to scribble 1798 on walls and trees and stones. I gave chalk to my friends and they added their own marks.

When you do a mad thing, should you try to explain it, or just let it be? I’m not sure. My own essay, Chalk on the Wall, gives explaining a go.

Searching for the Spirit of 1798

A lot of 2021 has been spent furiously writing and rewriting the new book - The Ghost Limb: Searching for the Spirit of 1798. And also out in the world, actively in pursuit of it.

I’ve found that the spirit of 1798 is alive and well. It thrives in the cultural underground. Friends and neighbours from diverse backgrounds actively sharing and mingling their lives. Many of us are telling new stories about being Protestants in Northern Ireland. Beginning to imagine a different future.

My year has been filled with adventures in lost heritage. Often at events and tours with Reclaim the Enlightenment, and even more often with friends. I’ve made a few graveside orations and given short talks, particularly about the women of the 1790s. We have celebrated Bastille Day like the United Irish before us. We have laid wreaths for William Orr. Walked in the footsteps of the Antrim rebels. Bribed our kids with ice-cream to help us find forgotten radicals.

A few months ago, I organised an event at the Betsy Gray café in Six Road Ends in County Down. Betsy Gray was a United Irishwoman who died in the Battle of Ballynahinch in 1798. We gathered friends, neighbours, writers and descendants to share local United Irish stories. People from all different religions and politics. Sitting together, drinking tea and eating sausage rolls. Telling stories about the past and about our lives now. Comfortable enough to venture into prickly territory. This is what 1798 can do. For me, it’s not about engaging romantically with the past. It’s about enjoying the diverse community, relationships and conversations 1798 can awaken in the present.

My friend Stephen Baker, who tells his own story in The Ghost Limb, emails me after reading some early drafts. He says, “I’ve often felt that the there is a post-1798 melancholia in the north. A sort of community of mournful heritage enthusiasts longing for what might have been. But that’s changed now. This feels like a moment of opportunity. It’s also the start of something. The excavation, the recovery, the digging is necessary work. But we can’t hang around in graveyards forever paying our respects to the ghosts of dead generations. When we’ve done our excavations, what do we begin to build?”

And that is what this journey has always been about. Looking back, being present, imagining futures. Creating new stories of what is possible. Asking what do we want to build?

Most photos phone pics. Others (the good ones) courtesy of Mark Doherty.